How am I feeling this morning?

 I don’t really think I am feeling much better.  I am still stressed about hubby taking his next assignment and being so far away.  Don’t get me wrong…..I am grateful that he is doing this for our family. I am grateful that he took this job so my daughters can get their medication.  I am grateful that he took this job so I can stay home.  I am grateful that he took this job because it gives us the money we need to survive and pay for things that we wouldn’t have been able to before (or would have struggled to pay for).  

When Brad started this job,  I envisioned us going to visit him and staying with him, but that isn’t possible due to the dogs.  We can’t just pack up and go and leave them home alone and we can’t simply take them with either (well reality is it is just Lola, because we could take he puppies).  I hate that I haven’t been able to drive down to visit him not once……with him only being two hours away, and me not being able to make it down there what will it be like when he is six hours away?  

I just miss him so much, and there is so much going on with me that is contributing to how I feel. Menopause is suddenly kicking my ass.  The hot flashes are unbelievable.  I wake up at night just on fire.  I feel like my body is going to combust.  I have sweat in places that I shouldn’t have sweat in.  Starting tonight I plan on having a cooling fan in my room on my side of the bed to turn on.  Once the new air conditioner arrives that I bought for Brennan his will be on the other side of the bed.  I plan on having both of those suckers running all night long.  

I am also feeling pretty blah and depressed.  I don’t know if that is due to the situation, or due to the fact that I am really having my ass kicked by menopause.  

For now, I am just sitting outside in my hammock swing drinking my morning coffee and feeling sorry for myself while I wait for the family to all wake up.  



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