Some days I really miss him!!!


 There are some days when I feel so strong, and then some days when I miss him so much and wish he was here every single day with me like he used to be.  Last night was one of the nights I really, really missed him.  My body was so sore and failing me so terribly…..I am sure it was because I cleaned the floors on the entire first floor of my home on my hands and knees (kitchen, three hallways, my bedroom, spare bedroom, and two bathrooms).  

He was home yesterday morning, and we went shopping and he bought me a wind chime, and another lilac bush (he knows I love lilac bushes).  We had a nice lunch together, and relaxed.  Then off to work he went, and I started deep cleaning.  By bedtime I could really feel the burn in my body.  My hips and groin hurt (been having lots of problems with them), and my knee was in pain, and I was having some nerve pain.  As I lay there all I kept thinking was that I wished he was home with me.  If he was home he would have rubbed my knee and my leg until I fell asleep, but instead I just laid there in pain trying to will myself to sleep.  I wanted to cry.  

It is days like last night when I really, really hate our new arrangement.  I hate being alone so much.  I hate having to do it all by myself all the time.  Thankfully he will be home in the middle of the night tonight, so we will have time to spend together.  

Some days I just miss him so much!!!!!  I am grateful that he is doing this for our family, but selfishly wish we could be together.

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