The sad realities

 One thing I have realized over the years is that many of the people I have served (especially for free) were people who never truly needed free, but instead were people who prioritized their money improperly.  I know this might seem mean to say, but I am a big put off by these folks, and pretty resentful at this point.  I am just really glad that facebook was not a thing when I was doing the majority of my free work because let me tell you a lot of these people would have been screwed.  

I think what I hate the most is the people who could afford it, but didn’t want to pay and took free services don’t even realize that I still paid the price for working with them for free.  I still had bills to pay (especially on my building), and I still had a family to help support.  I so wish I could go back in time because I wouldn’t have done it.  I wouldn’t have started this non-profit and wouldn’t have provided so many services for free to so many people……my family has truly suffered because of it.  We suffered financially because I didn’t have money coming in, but still had bills to pay.  We suffered in time not spent together because every single minute I gave away to a client is a minute less my children had me around.  

Then there are those people who were kind of sort of in need because of circumstances at the time who are now living larger.  It would be nice for them to step back and realize that they had a free service that I didn’t get paid for.  These are people who probably could dip into their pockets and send the money now as a thank you for helping them in their moment of struggle, but do they?  Hell no!!!!  They go on with their extravagant lives buying home after home and bragging about all of their possessions or vacations without a thought in the world on how I helped them years ago.  

It just makes me so sad because there was a time period when I could have really used the help (when my eyes were failing and I went blind).  I needed surgery (a very expensive surgery that our insurance would not cover) to save my vision.  At the time I was legally blind.  I can remember my daughter doing a fundraiser, and I saw these people online living the high life and do you think they would have donated to that fund?  Nope…..not a single one when I was struggling.  When they were struggling I went above and beyond to help them.  Often doing full childbirth education for free, and being their doula, doing postpartum visits, and lactation visits for zero pay.  It still breaks my heart when I think about it.

The really sad thing is now people all still want something for nothing from me.  They want a freebie….a handout because that is what I have become known for.  

If you are reading this blog, and you are someone who is constantly looking for a handout please remember someone…..somewhere is paying for that.  Nothing in life is truly free.  If someone is helping you they are giving up time with the ones they love.  If they drive to you they are sacrificing gas money.  If they are giving you their time that also means they are not able to earn money in the time spent with you, so they are sacrificing potential income.  Nothing is free, and while it might seem that way to you, or maybe you assume they are being compensated somehow that often isn’t the case so please remember that.