The final straw….what caused our lives to change after almost 31 yrs….

 My husband took a job at a local hospital right out of college in 1991….the hospital system he took the job through was the best paying one in the area with the absolute best benefits.  Unfortunately, like anything times change and his hospital was bought out and the lab he worked in bought out and changed hands several times.  As time went on the insurance became worse, and when covid hit with it came mandatory overtime.  The stress was huge, and many people quit. Being an essential worker isn’t always the easiest especially during a pandemic.  The hospital was so short staffed, and even though the lab was making a huge amount of money the employees were not seeing that in their raises and/or bonuses.  They were doing all the work, and upper management was bragging about how they were getting bonuses for keeping their work numbers low (low numbers because people quit and they couldn’t replace them but that also meant lots of work for the workers that were still there).

The final straws came this year.  In addition to him working so much and being so busy at work his place of employment didn’t honor the contract and give them the 2% raise they were supposed to give him (and everyone else).  They received a 1% raise, while upper management was getting bonuses.  When asked about it they were told that they messed up on the contract, and therefore all they were giving was 1%…..how could they do that?  Hubby took it to his union rep, and long story short the union rep quit!!!  The second straw that came was dealing with insurance issues.  A couple of my daughters are on a specialty medication for a rare genetic disorder they have.  They have been on this medication for years, and suddenly they were being denied the medication.  We received their medication in December of 2021 and then had to fight and fight and fight for it to get approved and them receive it in April. This caused huge struggles for our family because this medication is necessary.  Then once we got them to approve it we were suddenly being told the medication would cost us $2000 a month (per daughter) out of pocket and unlike in the past when that money went to the out of pocket deductible that would no longer apply.  If they wanted to stay on the medication we had to come up with $2000 a month (every month per daughter).  Who the hell has $48,000 they can plop down on medication?  

So push came to shove, and he decided it was time to move on after almost 31 yrs at this job.  I know the decision was not an easy one for him, and it definitely wasn’t an easy one for me because the job he decided to take was a travel position.  This meant I would be home alone almost every single day with our kids.  I was going to have to run the household, and make it all work and be alone.  While I struggled with this internally I knew he was doing what was best for our family, so I supported his decision.  He gave his notice, and sadly he later heard through the grapevine that the big boss was such an asshole he said that if my husband thought he would come back to work there as a traveler he would not hire him on.  I think that was such a rude thing to say….hubby never planned on doing that because if he actually travels for work he gets a living stipend which is untaxed.  

The sad reality is when hubby left a few others left as well, and I am sure that left them really, truly hurting for employees.  The sad fact is if they treated the employees properly they wouldn’t have had people running for the hills.  My husband could do everything in that lab.  He could set up all the equipment.  He could run every test.  He could do maintenance on their machines, but yet they were willing to lose him instead of giving him what his contract said and what he deserved.  

He packed up his clothes and left for his job on April 8th leaving me alone to do everything all alone.  As he left I cried and cried.  I didn’t know how to function without being close to the man I had been with for 36 yrs.  How do I go days without seeing him?  How do I do all the chores and household tasks by myself?  These were all difficulties I would have to learn how to overcome on my own.  

The day he left I cried for hours.  I cried myself to sleep, and the next morning when I woke up I knew I had to do what had to be done.  I started getting my house in order and doing cleaning like I had never done before (LOL).  As time went on I decided I would create projects for myself to complete….some were so out of the realm of what I would have done they were crazy.

I approached hubby with some of my crazy ideas, and he begged me not to do them.  He said in the past my crazy ideas always started with me having good intentions, but then him either fixing my mistakes or finishing the project.  I assured him I was going to find my path, and I was going to get it done (you can read about these projects in other posts).

Anyhow, here we sit almost two months into our major life change, and we are doing okay. I never thought I would make it this far, but I did and am making it.  Hubby comes home as much as he can, and we talk several times a day.  In fact, I think our relationship is the best it as ever been because we truly are learning to communicate for the first time in our lives.