The upset of the next job placement

 

A few days ago we were on vacation and hubby received a phone call from his next job placement.  I was sitting next to him and could hear the woman talking to him about his job and expectations, etc.  Suddenly he asks her about his hours.  It was his understanding that his work schedule would be in blocks.  Meaning he would work four days and be off three.  The plan was that with this type of schedule it would be easier for him to come home especially with him being six hours away.  She told him that is not how it was going to work, and that he would work two days, be off one day, work two days and then he would work every other weekend.  This means there are no block days like he thought.  I was instantly upset because he told me he asked them.  He told me that it was written in his contract….I found out it wasn’t.  At this point I am heartbroken and so broken down.  

With this new schedule it means I will be alone even more, and will see him even less.  He will be gone and when he does have two days off he will work, get off work, drive home the six hours and crash.  He will sleep that entire day and probably night.  I will spend one day with him, and then the next day he will have to drive back to work.  That is even worse than his last placement and he was only two hours away.  

I am still so mad.  Mad that he lied to me and told me he checked into it, and didn’t.  Mad that this means he will be home less.  Mad that this means he will need to stay in a hotel even more (and this job isn’t even paying as much as his last).  Mad that his take home pay will ultimately be less.  Less because they pay less, and less because we have to pay more out of pocket for a fucking hotel.  

He leaves tonight, and I am still so upset.  I don’t like this single mom life.  This isn’t what I expected my life to be like in my 50’s.  I expected more time with him. I expected more fun with him…..I have none of that.  In fact, he won’t even be off for our annual vacation.  That means we have to put off the vacation for several weeks until he is between jobs again.   

I honestly don’t know how I am going to handle this intense loneliness that I am going to have to deal with!!!

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